I Am

After five decades here on this globe, certain commonalities rear slowly into view. A sense of connection to all forms itself solid in this misty sleepwalk after gazing into enough faces, hearing gales of laughter, becoming mildewed from my own tears and the dampness of others who trod down the aisles, whisk by in traffic and sometimes stop to talk. The thread is elusive, mysterious, yet so intriguing I can't ignore it's presence any longer. A sense of self IS necessary to keep from dissolving away, but too much lends me to judge and entangle most thoughts with the theme of "me against them". So, in light of this newly obtained perspective which has trickled it's way through the scars of being here, I surrender. And if it's true...........

I am the lost child at K Mart only two aisles away from Mom but it feels like infinity

I am the convicted felon on death row penciling a letter to an indifferent appeals board

I am the sweating bastard in traffic dreading what he'll find at home

I am the shrieking mother of a dead crack dealer insisting on an answer from God when she asks "Why?"

I am the veteran still flinching at loud noises thirty years later

I am  the runaway downtown on a rainy night getting into a Lincoln for twenty bucks

I am the cooing infant, gurgling content in his crib, staring at the butterfly mobile above him

I am the misfit drunk in your bushes praying there's some left in the bottle

I am the football star groping a cheerleader's ass in the equipment room after a game

I am the incontinent eighty year old staring out the rest home window looking for my son

I am the teenager who's supposed to be doing homework and leering at Miss July instead

I am the clerk behind the counter wishing you would die while you fumble for correct change

I am the cop wrestling a bloody gang member to the ground wondering if this night will ever end

I am the jubilant prepubescent who's oh so ecstatic and beaming because Sherry called

I am the stillborn fetus wondering why he can't wonder

I am your rebelling offspring spouting "I knew you wouldn't understand"

I am a psychotic serial killer clipping out news articles of my antics while planning your death

I am the nervous politician who knows the polls will plummet if they find THAT out

I am the guy writing this, staring at the moniter waiting for the next word to come and realising that's enough to be, for now......